Brakes and Diapers......

WARNING.....This post contains graphic descriptions of bodily functions and should be read with discretion and the views of this post are held by the author alone. Not suitable for those of you with a weak stomach or lack of sense of humor.

Ok, if that didn't scare you off, here goes.

There are things in this life that just go together. Apples and caramel, peanut butter and jelly, chainsaws and big pine, movies and popcorn, sunshine and picking raspberries, riding bikes and scraped knees, little boys and big dreams, big boys and bigger dreams, tutus and little girls, emotional tears and little girls, coupons and groceries, you get the idea. Well this is just an observation of mine, but I think that there is some kind of eerie similarity to the usefulness and necessity of brakes on a vehicle and a diaper on a baby.
Brakes are a safety measure and without them our cars become a wildly unpredictable mass of movement and in a worst case scenario, a horrible disaster that, Lord willing, nobody is hurt in. You know how people are with a car wreck? On the freeway you drive slowly by and survey the damage and hope and pray that everyone is OK. In town, when it is someones vehicle that you know, people rush to see the damage done and speculate on what could have happened and how much work it is going to take to 'Get her up and running again'. Hence the phrase, "It was like watching a car wreck" you want to turn away but you have a hard time NOT looking. You can see how necessary brakes can be to our safety in a vehicle right?
Well in my observations of babies (I've had some experience in this department) diapers are something that should always, ALWAYS, be on a loose baby. They are a safety measure, much like brakes on a vehicle, and without them the outcome is very similar. An unpredictable mass of movement with a tendency to hide and leave little 'disasters' in their wake. And like a car wreck, at least in my house, everyone wants to see where it was left so they can all comment on how disgusting it is and how horrible it smells. Also what kind of damage was done to anything in direct contact. Now with that long winded intro I have a horrible story, but funny (at least to me).

A few months back I had an experience with naked roving Tallis. I had run the bathtub full of water and had stepped into the girls room and taken off her diaper, which was dry. I walked her diaper down the hall and left it on the dryer. I walked back down the hall and I smelled something that made my heart sink. At exactly that time all the girls, including Tallis started screaming. She had crawled up into the little wicker chair and left me a present, that fast. It took alot of scrubbing and a fresh coat of paint to fix that mess but thankfully I had a bath nice and ready. There is a blessing in every disaster.

I swore I had learned my lesson and that she would never be let out of a diaper again to roam wildly in the house. And then this happened. I had put all three of the girls into the bath on this particular evening and I tend to get them out one at a time so that we keep the hectic to a minimum. I got Maggie out first, combed hair, used lotion and put jammies on, next I got Molly out and repeated the process. As I rounded the corner to retrieve Tallis, the bathtub was empty, no Tallis. I was literally running back down the hall, I was not fast enough (maybe I should have taken track in school....HMMM). As I hustled through the kitchen the smell hit me. That sweet little girl was squatted in my entry way and was already on her second deposit. I scooped her up (ok, I was holding her at arms length) and ran her straight back to the bath calmly telling the kids to stay out of the entry way. I didn't elaborate because I knew it would draw unwanted attention to the area. As I plopped her back in the bath I hear a blood curdling scream from Sidon. "Why didn't you tell me she pooped?" The scene could be aptly described as a series of unfortunate events. Sidon had not taken my suggestion and had stepped into the mess thus slipping and falling down. He sat there on the ground holding the soiled foot in the air and warning me he thought he was going throw up. Really at that point all you can do is laugh and be thankful that all of this was on a hard surface. Poor Sidon, I really did feel sorry for him. Why must we always have to look at the car wreck, Why???